The nature of being a nurse is seeing people and families at their worst. I've worked Medical/Oncology, ICU, and ER. I've never heard anyone say "hey, not much to do this weekend why don't we go get admitted to the ICU" No one wants to come visit me at work and families are often in crisis when they end up with us. In those circumstances I often get the chance to sit front row seat to some of the unfairness that happens in life. Single Mom's dying too young of cancer, accidents taking a young father's life, a new diagnosis that changes everything about how a family functions from being able to work and participate in their hobbies to even church callings. A lot of unfairness is also dealt outside of the medical world, I've yet to hear of anyone who has the perfect life and hasn't gotten the short end of the fairness stick at some point.
When I look at the kids and teens in these situations the weight of the situation seems a little bit heavier for them, consequences of having to navigate through the situation seem bigger and more looming. There has always been adults around who love and care about the kids. The closer to home it is and the more I know of the situation I wonder if all the people who love them can make up for the gap left and then it always comes back to home.
My kids have so many people out there who care about them. Aunts, uncles, neighbors, scout leaders, YM/YW leaders, family friends, teachers, mentors {I could go on and I could list names specifically but I'll stop} who all have a vested interest in my kids' lives and have stepped up in very real ways to help them. Can all of that make up for the unfairness they've had to deal with as we went through the divorce as a family? I don't know, I certainly hope so. I wish there was some way to let everyone know how much I appreciate their part in our lives whether it comes from a lesson on how to tie a tie to loaning a can opener to the kids when they can't find ours because I moved it.
I sit and think back to a recent meeting with my Bishop when he mentioned that somehow all of those injustices get accounted for and the peace that I felt when I stopped thinking "but HOW?!?!?" makes sense. I am grateful to have people around me now who help hold me up when I can't myself, who step in where I fall short and am grateful that when it comes to an eternal perspective the Atonement will make up the rest. No, I don't know how for now faith will carry me along.
Picture is from the break in the storm today. When you think spring is around the corner and winter reminds you very loudly that it's still only February there are moments of a beautiful sky that help carry you on like a breath of faith that yes, it will all work out like it is suppose to.
You have inspired me to be more open and honest and out there with my blog posts as well. As you say, they really for me and pride alone makes me want to have a "following" of avid readers. Then I think what pressure that would bring with it. At this point, I will write for my own accountability and belief. Thank you and I hope we can inspire each other to new heights.
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