I think I can, I think I can...oh wait I guess I can't.

I'm sitting here staring at the screening knowing that several times over the last few days I've thought "that would be good to blog about" and now I'm just here blinking and hoping there aren't weeping angels nearby.

Another week behind me, softball is in full swing, and we now have more warm days than cold {today was cold though} with time continuing to tick by moment by moment.  I've spent too many of those moments spinning my wheels in  the mud going nowhere and accomplishing nothing -- except splattering mud here there and everywhere.

I was challenged/reminded today of the value of making a list of the things you can do something about and a list of the things you can't.  The can't list is really long and infinitely more frustrating and scary than it has ever been.  I can't do anything about it though because I can't turn back time, I can't change other people, I can't arrange for other people to -- well, for them to do anything or not do things I don't want.  I just don't get to be in charge of others -- I can't change the fact that the sky is blue instead of purple or that my flowers don't bloom in the winter.  All of that just is.  Some of it I'm okay with {really I like the sky being blue} and some of it I'm not okay with {oh if I could be in charge of other people...}

There are things I can do something about.  I can make sure my kids are told as often as possible that I love them, then follow my words with my actions.  I can show them that we aren't as alone as it sometimes feels because we have so many people who love and care about us, probably more than I'm even aware.  I can teach them that when things are tough thinking of someone else can bring a sense of peace and calm for a moment {wait, they're the ones who keep reminding me of that through their actions}  I can make my home a place of peace, love, and safety {yes, I realize that means starting with some major cleaning as soon as I'm done on here} I can do more than talk about my values and beliefs, I can live them even when no one is watching.  I can take full advantage of May and plant flowers in my yard.  I can ask "why?" more often and take the time to listen.

It's taken me several hours to come up with anything for my can list because I was fully entrenched in my can't list.  I'm not to the point of accepting the things I can't change because some of them I will never be accepting of no matter the situation.  Ever.