'twas the week before Christmas

This reminds me of 2 Christmases ago when I had nothing done for Christmas, nothing prepped, nothing.  After Gromps died I had a friend look around my living room and ask "Heather, what can we do to help?"  Through tears I said I don't even know.  "Can we wrap?"  Well, I haven't bought anything to wrap.  So the conversation went and through my frustration he saw what he could do -- and did way more than I ever expected.

This year circumstances are different.  I'm not stressed about Christmas this year and I've enjoyed the concerts the devotionals etc.  I haven't sad down in frustration about all things I'd like to do and can't.  I've enjoyed what I could do.  

I work through Thursday (1/2 shift) and hope to be able to make some ganache so I can dip truffles on Friday morning.  Debating about when to go to Beaver, I have the kids over the weekend until halfway through Christmas day.  

This afternoon when I woke up I laid in bed fighting making a list of how I've not been a great friend to everyone who has been wonderful to me, how I've not baked and dipped chocolated, how I've not even made the Great Big Giant List of Everything That Must Be Done, how I've not {fill in a long list} and tried to fight back the perfectionist side of me.  I took time to mourn this Christmas season, time to heal and rest my legs, but that time has to come from somewhere and now I'm looking at my working 7 out of 8 days {had last night off for Kaede's concert} and trying hard to remember that no matter how ill prepared we are for Christmas, Christmas day is wonderful.

Wonder what the chances of being on call at all this week are?  {yeah, those of you who have seen our census go ahead and laugh}