Have You Done Any Good?

I'm sitting here on the first day of school that I don't have to be at the hospital thinking back over the summer and to yesterday. Friends and acquaintances would ask "how are you doing?" and it's a hard question to answer. How is my back?  Well, I'm pacing the halls instead of sitting in class and it hurts worse than anything I've experienced -- only not a ten because tens should be saved. How are the kids?  Again, a complicated answer leading into the struggle we've had getting him registered at all and we're there but with Spanish instead of German, no Seminary etc. and no I'm not ready for them to go back. Haven't bought -- anything and still so many things to do (Toquerville Falls!)

For the ones who know me best who "how are you?" means how am I doing, I'm great. A smile has not only found my face but my heart. Bad days are few and even then I know at the end I have someone special who will likely ride in to town to make me forget all about my bad day. 

I'm sitting here thinking of my Hard Things days when I didn't want morning to come because that meant more Hard Things. I didn't get here alone, I prayed on hard days, asked for a Priesthood blessing on the impossible days and have cried on shoulders for what felt like forever.   It seems like it's my turn to pay it back with not much I can actually do, but there should be a way I can be an answer to someone's prayer, right?

I will try to call Mary in a bit, it's not much but it's something, something Bonnie would have already done. Oh how I wish I could have one last talk with her to let her know that I'm going to be okay. That last conversation she wouldn't talk about anything but hoping I'd be okay. Maybe this post is for her?  I doubt she has much time in heaven to read blog posts, but just in case, Bonnie I am doing great -- your friendship is a huge part of that. I love you and miss you. Don't worry I will go call Mary right now. 

Sunflower from the spilled bird seed