Who says there can't be more than a post a day?

I've been 'off' lately, so many tragedies the last few weeks and some that have really gotten inside my heart.  I typically go for a long rambling walk {or multiple, depending on the circumstances and time allowed} but it's been so very cold I haven't been able to {no, walking laps at the school won't help}  I've had people from just about every area of my life ask if I'm okay or say they're worried about me.  I've got a few steps left before I can even definitively say the fake "I'm fine" with a smile and nod but I think I'll get there.

I don't know if I have been too busy to work on dealing with stuff, the short days and long nights, the bitter cold, the stress of the season, my legs {they are feeling MUCH better by the way} the fact I think I'm doing a little bit better and something else happens to pull the rug out from under me or a combination of all of the above but I've got to work through things.

I can't walk it out, so I'm going to try writing it out.  I don't know how helpful mindless rambling at the computer will be and it's been forever since I've written with a purpose other than blogging.  I'd love to write about the things that are bothering me to get them out, but I'm bound by privacy laws and the fact that it's just the right thing to do.

My heart goes out to those who are mourning in the public eye, I can't imagine living through such sorrow and then having it be such a public affair.  Then I think of all those mourning in private, perhaps without anyone else knowing at all and I pray that if there is anything I can do to make their burden a little lighter that I'll know and respond.

There are a few things I do know, list format

• It's okay to be sad.
• I refuse to stuff all of this, well, stuff
• Bad things happen even during the most magical time of the year.
• I don't want to be alone forever.  I might not 'need' anyone and heaven help the poor soul who crosses me on the wrong day implying that I can't do it alone but it's easier with help.  I have friends and neighbors who have made a world of difference in my life once I let them but it's still lonely at say 12:40 and I'm writing to no one in particular when I'd love to be having a conversation.
• There are worse things than being alone, many of them.
• I am happier now than I've been in a very long time.
• There is a lot of power in "The Primary Answers"