Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sunshine and good friends with a side of rambling thoughts

If only I could freeze today and hold onto it for when I get discouraged.  Weather was beautiful here and absolutely gorgeous in St George.  A quick leg check up turned into "hey, we can fix that now"  and for once their version of fixing involved less pain when I left than when I walked in.  He did deny me a complete vessel transplant though.  I started of my morning with a quick chat from someone who always makes me feel a little better about myself, got to see some more 3 West friends since I stopped by there to chat with one of my favorite people.  A slow walk around the block  with DiAnna before going to teach a full room of 12-14 year old boys about first aid was perfect.

Reality is my day isn't much different than normal, I had too much to do to get anything done around the house and very few things are crossed off my to do list and teenagers to deal with.  Visits with friends were short and sweet, nothing extremely out of the ordinary.  What is different?

Me.

Church on Sunday was great, one specific moment more so than the rest.  It turned an "I don't want to" into an "I can do this"  It's not unusual for that kind of day to be followed by some intense nights and pondering -- this was no exception and neither was the peace that always seems to follow.  I'm going to do the things that will keep that peace the longest.  Do my best to preserve today for as long as possible.

I know things will seem hard again and I'll have times that I'm scared and confused and begging for an instruction manual with specific directions for me but I can get through.  I told a student nurse a few weeks ago after a relatively straight forward procedure went awry that when things aren't perfect and things don't go as planned is when you learn the most valuable lessons.  The mistakes you make from forgetting a tegaderm for the IV you just started to medication errors can teach a lesson better than anything else if you let it.  Mistakes will happen, no one wants them to and sometimes it isn't so much a mistake as things just didn't go as planned.  It wasn't until last night I realized that life is the same way we all make mistakes and you can either learn and grow from it and not make the same mistake again and perhaps even be able to apply it to other areas or you can ignore it, not care, or pretend that it didn't happen.


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