Friday, May 24, 2013

I don't know how you do it

It's one of those catch phrases that has bugged me for a long time. When Michael was a baby and very ill I took him from Beaver to Orem for therapy to teach him how to eat again. Once a week for over a year -- yeah, I'd not heard of Early Intervention at that point and in hindsight we needed the ST we had. Twice a month we went to the FUN clinic at PCMC. They knew us personally at Ronald McDonald House and Charlet thought the Rainbow Cafe was fine dining.

"I don't know how you do it, I don't think I could"

Really?  I don't want to do it but it beats watching my infant starve to death {yes literally}. I occasionally wondered what not doing it would look like, my life was exhausting. 

Going back to school with kids, being a single Mom during softball season, working NOC shift. The list goes on of things that people don't know how I do it. 

I look at people in situations where they have no choice but to do it and instead of wondering how they do it I pray for them to have the strength and endurance to do what they have to do the best they can.   I know there are people out there fighting their own battles privately and I hope they have the support system they need. 

Yes, I did tell one lady that I was thinking of not doing it, but was first trying to decide if I could deal with the consequence of my baby dying because he didn't know how to eat. It wasn't my finest moment, I did manage to walk away when she said he will eat if he gets hungry. 

Maybe that was the beginning of my using sarcasm as a coping mechanism. 

1 comment:

  1. I understand, Heather, there are many moments in my own life where people have said that to me as well.. All I can think is I have NO OTHER CHOICE. But then they look at me just as blankly as I looked at them and tell me but I DO have a choice... Ok so maybe I do.. but it isn't one I can live with.

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